New Life

Last night at 7:27pm we got a phone call from Kyles brother saying Shauns water had broke and that they were on their way to the hosipisal (hospital) as payt calls it.  The initial shock of it all was a little overwhelming she wasnt due for 6 more weeks and still had the stitch in that was keeping baby brett in.  We felt excited/scared/anxious and many other things! We rushed over picked up julie and headed their way.  When we got there my amazing sister (in-law) was filling out her paper work and preparing for the long night ahead. We then sat around and played the waiting game.  After about 3 hours Shaun requested Kyle and I go to the house and get all of their things that they needed for the stay. We rushed out there and got everything took payton to her ma's house then I headed back to the hospital. By the time i had gotten back she had received her epideral and her stitch was being removed.  The doc said she went from a 1 to a snug 3 to a 5 within minutes.  We thought we were gonna be there just a bit longer then my handsome nephew would make his entrance. Well it wasnt a little bit longer it was a lot bit but every minute of the wait was well worth the arrival.  It was now 5:25 and Shauns mom rushed out to tell us she was starting to push, Julie and I jumped up and ran (jogged) as fast as we could to her room! WISHED her the best I said a little prayer in my head for her and then we stood outside the door! it was 5:53am when that little gift from god was brought out to the world and not but a few seconds later he was SCREAMING now normallly screaming isnt something I would enjoy at 5am! But this scream is something I will never forget it instantly brought tears to my eyes literally pulled my heart strings.  Bretts new life in this world had begun at that minute! Michelle came out tears in eyes and said we could come look at him. Our eyes filled with tears and hearts with joy we entered.  I remeber looking at shaun and at that moment knowing that if I can be half the woman in God that she is I will live an abundantley blessed life.  Shaun Vanzant YOU are my hero.  You brought a beautiful baby into this world and with out fear put everything in Gods hands.  I really did enjoy every minute of today even down to the bulge in the pants lol! I love you more than I can ever express and want you to know how much you mean to me.  You are an amazing woman with a heart for God.  Thank you for everything you do and have done for us.  I cant wait to make you an auntie, hopefully and auntie of multiples.

Enjoy life today.

Prayers for Peace

Well my computer has been broken so sorry I havent had the chance to keep you updated on a few things.  I had my appointment with my fertility specialist on monday and it went well. They are running a few different tests to see what they can do for me.  I have poly cystic ovarian syndrome and also my hormone and cholesterol levels are off along with my thyroid and a few other things.  I know God has a plan for me and Kyle and within time we will have a baby, it is just hard not knowing when and where we will be.  I just need lots of prayers for peace of mind and comfort. 

                  Feel Gods peace today.

Gators and Gardens

Yesterday was a very busy day! It started out with working at Azalon until around 1 then mom and I headed out to perkins to my oldest sister Mandy's for her baby shower for the precious amelia. Then we shopped around stillwater for a bit then off to the most amazing place EVER the farm. Now let me start by saying the farm to me is the place I feel all emotions  flow through me. It has my childhood memories of spending "our" week with mamaw and papaw, having a shopping day and lunch with mamaw and a friend and another day would be with just papaw. Mamaw days were always great and always looked forward to those days. But papaw days were something I will never forget. The morning would start with biscuits and gravy! We would do the dishes me and mam would make the bed then she would head to work. Me and papaw would go to the garden and I would "help" which basically meant I played with the kitties while he worked, we would then head in and clean up and get ready to go. You see mamaw works at the sale barn and we would go watch the cows papaw would buy a few and then we would have lunch with mamaw in the diner at the sale barn. These are the memories I will always treasure and tell my children about. The farm also has my teenage years of normalcy it was the one place I could go and have no worries.  Just letting the wind blow in my hair while I cruised around on the gator, helping pick the veggies and fruits in the garden (tomatoes were my favorite to pick), and simply just being with mamaw and papaw.  Yesterday after we got to the farm papaw and I hopped on the gator and headed out to the garden. I got a little emotional the more time I spent with him. Seeing him getting tired at the simplest task or just with every step him physically being in pain. We hopped back in the gator and we sat there and talked for a bit, I asked him how he's been feeling and his reply was not so well.  He said that he knows that he has gotten to an older age than all of the brothers and sisters and even parents that have passed away by a couple years and he knows that he just has to keep moving and taking every thing day by day. As much as it hurt to hear that its true...Life is a precious gift and no matter the struggles or the hurts we have to just keep moving and taking it day by day. I will always treasure my gator rides and garden time that I have had at the farm and will never forget the outstanding example my mamaw and papaw have set for me.

Let the wind blow in your hair today.

What we thought it would be.

Our entire childhood we chanted this little saying, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage. We had it stuck in our heads that we would simply fall in love then the marriage would follow with ease and at last you would get to snuggle with a baby. Unfortunately for most it isnt that easy. Some struggle with falling in love, some with committing to marriage, and others achieving pregnancy. This is my journey with my amazing husband and our struggle with infertility. I just have to believe with all my heart that God will provide. I heard an amazing qoute today that said feed your fears with faith and your fears will starve. I must live by this qoute and I will have such a better outlook.

Think of what is  not what isn't  today.